


Everything I Wanted

by skullstrings



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Canon Compliant, M/M, Mentions of underage relations, No beta sorry, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 107: Visitor, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Smut, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:20:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28155975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullstrings/pseuds/skullstrings
Summary: If Levi confronted Eren in chapter 107 instead of Hanji, what would have conspired between the two?
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 8
Kudos: 168





	Everything I Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Basically a smut scene with angst that would’ve taken place in chapter 107 if it were Levi instead of Hanji. 
> 
> There are a few major spoilers for the manga, so if you’re still reading that I would definitely recommend skipping out??? There’s also mentions of Levi and Eren having a relationship before the time skip, so if that triggers you as well I would look out for that. 
> 
> The song lyrics in the beginning of the work is the song “everything I wanted” by Billie Eilish, which is also the title!

_I had a dream_   
_I got everything I wanted_   
_But when I wake up, I see_   
_You with me_

_And you say, "As long as I'm here_   
_No one can hurt you_   
_Don't wanna lie here_   
_But you can learn to_   
_If I could change_   
_The way that you see yourself_   
_You wouldn't wonder why you hear_   
_They don't deserve you”_

_~*~_

“Marley changed you, Eren.”

Eren didn’t grace his former lover with eye contact. He kept his gaze on the mirror, where he had unraveled his bloodied bandages from his head earlier. He also treated himself to a fresh shave and wash, which was a semblance of therapy that was allowed during these times.

Seeing his face free from grime, bandages and facial hair was almost disturbing, but it gave Eren all the more resolve. He looked exactly like that kid from all those years ago—except ravaged by war and knowledge. It was all the more reason to fight. For that kid back then. He deserved freedom, too. Vengeance. Fight. Fight. _Fight_ —

“You were talking to yourself in the mirror just now,” Levi snapped a touch more bitterly. “Like a damn crazy person. What’s the deal, brat?”

He had no time for this. Truly. He had no time for someone like _Levi_ to come down here and interrogate him.

All after retrieving Eren in Marley and talking about different sorts of nonsense, like Eren being filthy and looking like those faces underground . . . Eren had no more patience. Those words were vague to a stranger’s ear, but Eren knew exactly what he was talking about. It stung. Eren knew it was true, though.

The Captain’s tenacity was always impressive—The man had managed to get under Eren’s skin at every opportunity possible. Whether it be treating a young Eren to some desserts forbidden to the common population, or enticing Eren into his office during late hours, promising tales of freedom and _marriage_ under blue skies . . .

“What are you doing here?” Eren spat, gripping the edge of the sink tighter. His heart coiled painfully in a way he thought wasn’t possible—both from anguish and from . . . want.

Silence.

Eren snapped his head up to meet where Levi’s head should be.

Levi only looked serious, standing against the wall with his arms crossed and a foot perched behind him. Even after all these years, it still seemed as though Eren couldn’t read that damned, aloof expression of his. How _frustrating_. 

The man looked the same since before Eren left. Even from when Eren was a child, the man looked the same. The slim nose, the darkened, narrow eyes and thin brows always quizzically furrowed. He looked skinnier now, though.

“I can’t talk to you?” Levi asked innocently, making Eren grit his teeth. “You always want to talk to me, Eren.”

“They _sent_ you to talk to me,” Eren accused. There was a fire in his belly he couldn’t’t quite explain, but wanted to blame Levi all the more for it.

“No one sent me.”

“Liar.” Eren’s lower lip trembled.

“I missed you, you know,” Levi’s dark voice interrupted over Eren. His dark eyes narrowed and his fists clenched. Eren barely noticed how Levi approached the bars of the cell, looking intense.

_Liar!_ Eren wanted to scream again, his nose scrunching.

“And for you to go against the Survey Corps like that . . .” Levi’s voice nearly cracked. “And to come back looking like-like a filthy animal? Disgusting!”

Eren didn’t look impressed.

“Is that really what bothered you?”

“You’re not the same, anymore, Eren. I don’t know what happened, and I won’t ever know unless you open that fucking mouth of yours.”

Eren fully faced Levi now. “I’m no longer that dumb kid whose heart you shattered into a billion pieces. If that’s what you mean, then yes, I suppose I’m different.”

Levi looked stone in the face. “Why are you bringing that up.”

“Because you have no right to talk to me after that,” Eren snapped harshly, rage filling his veins now. “I was a stupid, innocent child—“

“And that was precisely it!” Levi stepped forward, his eyes looking focused and wide with fury. “That’s _exactly_ why I had to cut it off! You’re still a kid with a life ahead of you—why do you need some washed up old man to ruin that for you? I couldn’t—“

“Are you serious?” Eren’s voice raised an octave. “That’s the fucking reason?! You know I only have four years left to live, don’t you?”

Levi’s eyes darkened. “And that’s why you should live out those years with someone better. Don’t you get it?!”

“So you get your rocks off on stealing my innocence and you—“

“I loved you, Eren!” Levi roared, slamming his hands against the bars. His eyes were wide and enraged now, making Eren’s heart stutter for only a moment. “I always loved and cared about you, so don’t try and make it seem like it was something dark! You just didn’t know what you wanted!”

Eren scoffed, the air in his lungs feeling hot. His breath caught in short lapses, which he knew could develop into something dangerous. After shaking his head and returning to the sink, he breathed in deeply.

Long tan arms flexed on the edge of the white porcelain, dark hair hung between muscled shoulders.

“I couldn’t keep doing that to you,” Levi continued, taking his hands off the bars of the cell. He pulled out a handkerchief and began wiping his hands free of invisible grime.

“No one makes me do things I don’t want to do.”

Levi looked unimpressed, which Eren looked up again and glared at. He threw his hands off the sink and faced Levi with a different resolve than before.

“I ate the War Hammer titan.”

“You what?” Levi’s eyes narrowed, his arms crossed tightly. His best attempts at looking aloof fell flat, since his body screamed something of fright or defensiveness.

“It can control titan hardening to create weapons,” Eren explained. “Anything it needs—all while being underground. It was an annoying enemy.” The brunet was lashing out these words, half-bragging and half-expecting Levi to lash out even more. There was something uniquely satisfying about watching Levi become emotionally undone at Eren’s words. 

The older man clenched his fists, unsure of what to do with this information. His first instinct was to run up the stairs and tell everybody about what he just learned—since that’s what he was here for. To gather information.

“So?” Levi asked.

“So no one makes me do things I don’t want to do. I can leave whenever I want, you know.”

“Eren—“

“You can’t imprison me, no matter how tough and deep this underground cell is. I can make my escape whenever I so choose, and you can’t do anything about it,” Eren began, striding towards the bar cells menacingly. “And what’s more, you can’t kill me. I have the founder.”

“Then why are you still down here?” Levi dangerously asked. He knew Eren wouldn’t lie about something so stupid—so brash.

“Open the lock, Levi. Find out.” Eren gripped the metal poles between his hands. “I want to know what humanity’s strongest soldier can do.”

-

Eren was never a gentle kisser, not by any means. Back then, he was simply inexperienced and eager—all too excited to be in Captain Levi’s bed.

In a way, Levi found this enthusiasm to be flattering and attractive. It was far more appealing than screwing around with his fellow veteran soldiers, as Levi had done before. Eren was new, refreshing and a blank slate for Levi to corrupt.

But now, the brunet was rough and taking all control. Levi had no complaints though, since the webs of pain inflicted on his body was singing of praise from Levi. Was it masochistic to feel this way? To enjoy feeling pain inflicted by Eren?

Levi decided he didn’t care. Eren had him pinned against the cold, stone wall of his cell. The only thing Levi was capable of thinking at the moment was how good Eren’s body felt. He missed this so much. Eren kissed with so much confidence now. So much more hunger.

“You’ve lost weight, Levi,” Eren noted, his big hands gripping at Levi’s sides with curious grips and strokes. There was concern lacing his words, making a sting in Levi’s heart more prominent. 

“And you’ve become way too demanding,” Levi murmured, almost irritated at how Eren had him pinned. “Fooling around with the Queen ought to turn a boy into a man, I suppose.” His sentence was let loose with a weak attempt at jealousy.

It wasn’t a surprise to anyone when rumors began circulating of Eren’s involvement with Historia. After all, the two begun talking privately, much to the dismay of Mikasa, and moreso, Levi. But he couldn’t be blamed. Since Levi did break his heart, it was only natural for Eren to find a shoulder to cry on.

“What the hell are you going on about?” Eren growled against a pale neck. “You were the only one for me, Levi. Back then and even now.”

Levi blinked. “You . . .”

“You ruined me,” Eren murmured. “And I . . . I couldn’t be more grateful.”

Levi was tossed onto the bed, wheezing at the loss of air his lungs felt when colliding with the hard surface.

Right away, Eren was on top of him. Strings of thick, dark hair shadowed the younger man’s face. Up until now, Levi hadn’t thought of how Eren had matured over the past four years. Sure, the brunet was ecstatic over his growth, constantly teasing Levi and giving him affectionate kisses on the head. But Eren had never looked . . . old.

His bright eyes were a bit dimmer, though they had an inexplicable fire in them. It was almost something sinister and aged, which was a glow that Levi knew all too well.

“Where did you learn to kiss?”

Eren blinked, as if the answer was obvious. “From you, Captain Levi. I want to take your breath away the same way you took mine.”

Realization washed over Levi as the meaning of what Eren was saying. Levi had no time to rationalize this or even respond, since Eren came back down to Earth and began kissing him again. It was a passionate, open mouthed kiss that made Levi groan. Long, tan fingers dug their hands around Levi’s pale neck and kept him pressed forward.

Levi didn’t fight back like his instincts begged him to. He gave in, running hands up a muscular chest and shoulders as Eren suffocated him.

There was nothing held back about the way Eren kissed him. It was forceful, angry and full of lust. Levi welcomed this more as opposed to the sloppiness of his kisses from years ago.

Eren angled his hips forward, seeking friction against Levi’s bottom. The dark haired man groaned at the sensation of Eren’s erection beneath his pants rubbing up against his own, hard body.

“Shit, Eren,” Levi sighed, believing that he’s truly never been this turned on in his entire life. Pale hands slid down and over to press the small of Eren’s back against him more.

“I want you to feel good, Captain,” hot breath panted against Levi’s neck. Levi’s cock twitched at the formal greeting, knowing full well that Eren was doing this on purpose. “I want to fuck you so hard, my Captain Levi.”

Levi threw his head back against the rough pillows, drinking in the praise and promises like the finest wine. He felt the lick of arousal in his groin tighten, and he knew he was close. He couldn’t believe himself—he was about to cum in his pants from some grinding! How embarrassing.

Luckily, Eren pulled back and Levi drew a breath at the sight. The brightness in his eyes was back, his pupils dilated with pleasure. Eren looked positively ravenous, making Levi all the more eager for the events to come.

Eren began undressing Levi so quickly his head spun. He began with his pants, yanking them off and tossing them to the other side of the cell—the _cell_! Levi had all but forgotten that they were in a cell with soldiers right above them! Anyone could easily waltz in and find the two in this lewd and compromising position. Levi wanted to feel panicked, but he couldn’t help the arousal that bubbled at the thought.

“Don’t worry about being decent now,” Eren huffed before pressing his lips to Levi’s pale thighs. “Everyone will hear what I’m doing to you.”

Eren rested his hands on Levi’s thighs before splitting him open. He rolled his thighs back and quicker than lightning, Eren’s tongue was on him.

Levi’s hips buckled as he felt Eren’s soft and wet mouth all over his own entrance. Stings of insecurity traveled up his spine, but were quickly forgotten at how good it felt to be eaten out by Eren. His tongue moved with an urgent quickness that had Levi’s throat drier than sand. He couldn’t speak, he could only tangle his hands in Eren’s long hair and press his head closer.

The brunet licked a long stripe upwards, traveling up Levi’s veiny member before swallowing the tip. The dark haired man cried out at the sensation, but Eren didn’t hesitate nor stop one bit.

One hand gripped the base of Levi’s leaking cock as Eren worked his mouth over the slick member. He curled his lips and ran his tongue wildly over, being sloppy and inaccurate with his movements.

“Eren . . .” Levi moaned into nothingness. “Sh-Shit, slow down, kid!”

“Come when I ask you to,” Eren simply responded, popping Levi’s erection out of his mouth. Levi grimaced at the thick string of saliva that followed, but didn’t mind too much. “If you don’t, I’m leaving you here by yourself.”

Levi smirked slightly. It was strange having his own empty threats repeated back to him years later, but he found he quite enjoyed it. Eren was handling the reins well, and all he could do was let him do what he pleased.

Eren leaned over the side of the bed and pulled out a small bottle of oil. Levi’s eyes clouded at the sight, his hips raising in eager attention. So Eren was more prepared for this than Levi assumed.

For a fleeting moment, Levi caught a sense of hesitation from Eren’s eyes.

“What are you worried about?” Levi prodded gently, resting his hands behind his head.

Eren’s mouth twitched. “You never let me do this.”

“Are you admitting to not knowing how to do something?”

“Shut up.”

Dark eyes traveled up the sitting form of Eren. “I’m not glass, Eren. And you don’t need to be afraid. I’m here, after all.”

Eren didn’t respond to that. Not that Levi expected him to, anyway. Instead, the two spoke with their bodies and moved forward, but with Eren being miles gentler than he was before.

-

Eren stretched Levi open with a surprising amount of patience. His eyes were careful and attentive as Levi instructed him through the process.

It was fascinating for Eren; To watch Levi squirm beneath his touch and writhe due to his own actions was surely a sight to commit to memory.

Hushed breaths and half-baked jabs were exchanged, but interrupted with wanton moans every time. Levi was laid flat against the bed, gripping tan wrists and guided them to the correct positions and angles.

But like with everything else in life, Eren was an eager learner. He grappled the task with enthusiasm and the ability to soak up knowledge like a sponge. When he finally hit Levi’s spot while pressing a thumb to the outside, Levi arched his back and sang something divine.

“Get to it, brat,” Levi wheezed, his body shaking and twitching. He’d been concentrating too hard at keeping his orgasm at bay, which was something he never really had to focus on during sex before.

Eren cracked a smile for the first time. His breath was short and sweat clung to every inch of his skin, which was the only indicator that Eren was at his own limit. Levi welcomed the sight with a gentle stroke of the back of his hand. It was the sight of humility he had been looking for, and in that small window, Levi wondered if it was possible for things to be back to normal again. Or perhaps as normal as circumstances allowed.

“Patience is a virtue, Captain,” Eren murmured underneath his breath. He slicked his own cock with lube, each slick movement causing Eren to shudder and groan. Levi stared hungrily at the sight, knowing he couldn’t touch himself lest he wanted Eren to leave.

When Levi felt the head of Eren’s cock at his entrance, he took in a deep breath and forced himself to relax.

“What are you thinking about, Captain?”

“How I’ve missed this,” The reply came quick. “I’ve missed your cock. I’ve missed you, Eren.”

Blue-green eyes stared at him, expecting the rest of Levi’s seemingly finished statement to continue. The younger man knew him better than that.

Levi looked up and licked his lips quickly. “You could . . . You could turn yourself in, you know. Come back. With me.”

“Things cannot be the same, Levi,” Eren’s voice dropped a grim tone, making Levi shudder. He held a hold of his cock and began siding in, the warm tightness enveloping him.

A simultaneous groan escaped from both of them, Levi’s breath going up in pitch at the fullness. Eren’s cock was thick and so much more than his meddlesome fingers.

Eren, showing no mercy, pushed forward and buried himself to the hilt. “You see, I simply know things you don’t. I know things won’t end well—for anyone.”

Levi wanted to drown him out as Eren began to move. The brunet delivered slow and steady thrusts, using the entire length of his cock to draw in and out of the warmth of Levi Ackerman.

“I can—“ Levi tried helping his breath. “ _I_ can help you—Hanji—The Survey Cor— _Haah_ , Eren . . . We can all help you.”

Eren grabbed a hold of Levi’s hips, his fingers digging into pale flesh. “Not with this.”

Levi wasn’t sure exactly what they were talking about anymore. His own thoughts and words drifted off into the air like steam as Eren delivered harsh and punishing thrusts.

The pace grew quicker, Eren grabbing a hold onto Levi’s body and keeping him close as he pummeled into his tight, tight entrance. Levi couldn’t keep up, his moans falling from his lips now and echoing off the dungeon walls. There was no way the soldiers upstairs weren’t listening—but the soldiers be damned!

Levi clawed at his back, his teeth clenching so hard it ached. Eren’s cock rubbed in all the right places and reached deep in places he had not thought possible prior.

“Come with me,” Eren urged, his husky voice and warm breath tilting Levi over the edge. “I can promise you freedom, I can—I can make you so powerful, my Captain—my _Levi—“  
_

“Eren—“

“Come with me.”

Levi came undone, the pulse of his orgasm forcing the air from his lungs and stealing the vision from his eyes. His cock twitched as splurts of semen escaped and coated both Eren and Levi.

Feeling the contractions, Eren came as well, thrusting his hips in time. His grip only tightened on Levi as he spilled into him, surely leaving bruises and marks all over. Levi wasn’t one to complain, really.

“You . . .” Levi gulped an intake of air. “You’re never coming back, are you?”

Eren retreated from Levi’s neck, looking over the man beneath him like a statue. He didn’t respond, igniting a struck lightning of hurt through Levi’s core. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but it wasn’t _that_.

“You’ll have me for the night,” Eren broke the silence, licking his own chapped lips. “But you’ll find me again, Levi. Maybe not soon, maybe not in the next life, but you’ll find me again. I know you will.”

Levi blinked, unsure if the lethargy of his orgasm was making him have auditory hallucinations. What was Eren saying?

“You’re being awfully bossy,” Levi noted, raising a hand to flick a strand of hair out of Eren’s face. “I’m not a patient man, Eren. What if I don’t want to wait to ‘find you again’ or whatever the hell you’re saying?”

“Then you can keep doing what you’re doing,” Eren urged, running hot palms over Levi’s body. “Chasing me down. Saving me from myself. Maybe you’ll succeed next time.”

“Next time, huh?”

“But for now, you can take me again.”

And so he did.

The rest of the night, Levi waited to call Eren’s bluff on this nonsense. He waited when he stared out onto the plains of Eren’s tanned back as he thrust into him, his pale hands dancing in stark contrast to the tan and slightly imperfect skin beneath.

This was a big difference from years ago, since Eren was taller now with more muscle to boot. But with the way Eren’s body was reacting to Levi’s cock, it was unmistakable how turned on the brunet was. 

“You missed this, didn’t you?” Levi leaned forward and whispered into Eren’s ear. “My cock inside you. Is that why you’re letting me do this?”

“No one makes me do things I don’t want to do,” Eren echoed from earlier, curling into the familiar and heart wrenching feeling of having Levi behind him.

“I wish you would stay,” Levi answered truthfully in a moment of brevity. If this was truly the last time he’d see Eren like this, he might as well let his feelings be known. “I want you forever, you shitty kid.”

“Then find me again.”

Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance, but reached his hand around to grip Eren’s cock. He wasn’t sure what was said next, as he dug into tanned, sweaty skin and lost himself once more.

-

In the bleary hours of the morning, Levi woke and found the bed completely empty. His hands drifted to his sides, trying to find any evidence of warmth or Eren’s physical touch.

Finding none, he sat up and looked around the cell, his heart racing and his alarm bells ringing loudly in his head. The room was deathly cold, making the older man shiver and tug the blankets closer to him, surprised when the blankets wouldn’t nudge due to the weight at the bottom of the bed.

Eren was sat on the far edge of the bed, looking almost wrecked.

“Come with me,” Eren urged again.

Levi blinked. “I . . . I don’t—“

“I’m asking you to trust me this time, Captain,” Eren didn’t break his stare. “Won’t you trust me like I did you those years ago? Back in the forest? Back in the caves of the Reiss family?”

Levi opened and shut his mouth, his mind swirling. He’s never had to make particularly hard decisions like this one before—he was much more useful for following orders than disobeying them and choosing for his own accord.

“I . . . I can’t,” Levi decided, his heart breaking at his own words.

Eren didn’t look phased. “So what will you do now?”

“I’ll find you.”

“You’re welcome to try, Captain.”

_~*~  
_ _I could follow you to the beginning  
_ _And just to relive the start  
_ _And maybe then we'll remember to slow down  
_ _At all of our favorite parts  
_ _All I wanted was you_

**Author's Note:**

> The manga and anime have been making me feel so angsty so I wanted to write this so bad ahhhh 
> 
> Let me know what you thought down below?? I’m also active on twitter (@skullstrings) and tumblr as well! (@skullstringz)
> 
> The song at the end is All I Wanted by Paramore :)


End file.
